German Household and Child-Parent Family Dynamics

by Tiyah Goba

One of the most intriguing and surprising experiences I have had during my time in Germany, has been observing the parenting culture and the relationship dynamics within a family.

Coming from a culture and society which for many years has stressed the idea and mentality that men within a particular traditional household, are expected to be providers. A culture which perceives  men as strong and dominant; who are not to show any form of emotion because it is seen as weak. Instead, are expected to feel and show less because that is seen as strength. Placing great responsibility of nurturing and emotional support on the woman (mother). Women, in such household settings are expected to care and nurture the family and their children because they are responsible for child bearing. 

In such households, one will find that fathers are rarely ever actively present in the lives of their children, which is sadly the background and life story of most children living in these African traditional societies and countries. Whereas, in most German households (I would like to think), that is not the case. Parenting seems to be strongly prioritized by not just one parent but both. 

Ever since being in Germany, I only ever see fathers pushing the prams, attending to the needs and demands of their son or daughter. While the mom rests or (in one real life instance), reads a book. The nature of the relationship parents share with their children here in Germany, very different. 
Germany seems to have adopted a different approach to parenting, an approach which other parts of the world such as South Africa is trying to adopt. Developmental studies of child development emphasizes the importance of child and parents relationships, and how those very same dynamics impacts an individual and the world around them. Germany, is a good practical example of how this new positive and balanced approach to parenting has positive impacts, and is possible. Walking into a German home has and seems to always feel like warmth. Exuding love and family. Germans seem to value family, to value the active participation in their children‘s lives from their emotional to mental developmental. The perks of living in a first world country I suppose. Given that children and individuals have the necessary means and basic needs met, which as a result has shifted the culture and perspectives of its people and the social norms and expectations. Enabling them to then provide such stable and supportive structures for themselves and their families.  

In a German, European household affection is valued and expected. Emotional availability, expression and support is provided. Parent and what are seen as gender roles, are equally shared. 
Radiating love and comfort.